“I’m sick and tired of you complaining all the time. What’s the matter with you?”
“I’m sorry, I’ll be quiet.”
“But Dad, she wasn’t complaining!”
What does this kind of exchange look like in our word-vision identity, specifically with Word’s yirah, grace and desire attributes? The symbolic diamond facets for each of Word’s ten attributes are different colored transparencies of his presence, itself symbolized in the diagrams as the lower vision-pearl, Name’s the upper one. When using these to trigger vision, we allow the mind of our heart to envision their forms untethered to any opaque human form. The colored transparencies of Word’s attributes become translucent or opaque to us when we do not use the essence of his attributes correctly, causing us to see them not as Word’s in us but our own.
Thus, yirah, grace and desire in this word-vision exchange manifest in the perfect transparencies of Word in them and in translucencies or opaque forms that indicate their distortion in the vision-pearl of Laura and her parents. It is the catatonic social conscience of the world working blindness in them, good people struggling with partial blindness.
Thus, her father has no fear when disrespecting his wife because he sees Name’s yirah as his own, manipulating it to not alert him with fear when he is doing wrong. It makes him blindly feel brave and powerful because he also misreads it warning his wife to stop fearing him as a good thing because she cannot stop. In turn, her misuse of it not only causes her to misread it in herself directly but to misread the constant warning of fear given to her husband to stop mistreating her. She sees it as a warning that she is constantly doing wrong because he cannot stop – and she has made even her feelings dependent on his. In all interaction, our consciences always affect each other, so better to read them correctly.
Laura’s misuse of Name’s yirah transparency also permeates and interacts with theirs as she also misreads it in herself directly but misreads the fear meant for her father as a warning that she is doing something wrong in not stopping him, for her feelings are partially dependent on his as her father. In turn, Laura’s father misreads the warning of fear in her as proof of his bravery and power because she cannot stop him.
Recently, however, Laura has been using Name’s yirah in Word to cleanse this translucency in her conscience, allowing her feelings to become less dependent on him and her mother, as she and her mother misread it in each other also. But it is not cleansed enough for her to stop misreading it in herself directly in her relationship with Jack also, as well as misreading the warning of fear in Name’s yirah for him as a warning that she is doing something wrong that causes him to drink.
In turn, Jack not only misreads it in himself directly but misreads Name’s warning of fear for her to stop depending on others falsely as a warning that it will be his fault alone if their marriage ends in divorce. Of course, some of the things that Laura does do aggravate Jack’s blindness and vice versa, for some of their dependency on each other is also false, but it is the responsibility of each of them to learn word-vision to start loving the enemies of conscience, as it is for each of her parents. This is the only correct usage of Name’s attribute transparencies in Word in us.
In all, the three sets of relationships between the four them are as follows: one, Laura’s parents interact as they each watch Laura and Jack interacting, who in turn each watch her parents interacting; two, Laura and her father interact as they each watch her mother and Jack interacting, who in turn each watch them interacting; and three, Laura and her mother interact as they each watch her father and Jack interacting, who in turn each watch them interacting. A total of twelve appearances by the four of them, one in each of the three sets.
When the yirah attribute is transparent to them all, their three sets provide a strong baseline and good depth for each of their word-vision identities in Word. When it is translucent or opaque in their sets, it is the foundation for misperception and misuse of Name’s other attributes in their word-vision identities in Word.
One day last month, Jack confronted Laura’s father for belittling her mother right in front of them.
“What is the matter with you, sir? She is your wife?”
“Don’t you see how she always disrespects me?”
“With all due respect, she never disrespects you.”
Sensing her husband’s anger rising, Laura’s mother engages Laura on another issue and the dispute goes silent but remains dangerous in their inner vision. Name’s grace attribute takes the form of anger when misuse of His yirah reaches critical mass in the social conscience, what Name has been warning them about.
At this point, to Jack and Laura’s father, His grace transparency seems opaque in Word and prevents their word-vision from accessing any of it correctly. They experience it as blind anger in their sets. All crimes and wars are due to this critical mass.
In his blindness, Laura’s father does not see that the anger he feels for Jack is actually Name’s anger for him for not loving Jack as an enemy of his present conscience, and likewise for Jack’s anger actually being Name’s anger for him. For even though Jack did it out of love for Laura and her mother, he excluded her father.
The misuse of yirah in Laura and her mother does not reach the critical mass of anger during this occasion, but it does cause them to misuse the attribute transparency of Name’s desire in them so they can escape the presence of their husbands’ blind anger. They enter their misperception of Name’s desire in Word not knowing that they have turned it into a black hole in all three sets. This provides many opportunities for yirah to also reach the critical mass of anger.
As the fear in yirah does not apply to Name, neither does a part of desire the way it applies to us, since He is in a perpetual state of fulfillment, never fearing loss. Our conscience enters this state of His when we love the enemies of conscience. Desiring them to join us, we work from a healthy unrealized desire that does not blind us to Name’s fulfilled desire in us through Word.
Laura and her mother’s unfulfilled desire is for love to fill their homes and protect their families from all that is wrong in the world. It works in a black hole because by not loving the world’s enemies of these things while hating their behavior, they allow the catatonic part of their social conscience to remain in their homes even after they lock the doors at night.
Fortunately though, it does not make Name’s desire transparency opaque to them but translucent, making His other attributes in Word translucent through it. Jack and Laura’s father though, at least for now, are cut off from all of them because the opacity of His grace transparency blinds them totally. Yet, anyone who loves them as enemies of conscience can see all of Name’s transparencies in their sets as diamond facets in Word’s vision-pearl.